Well, my 8 weeks of orientation are officially over and I am on my own. It is scary and exciting at the same time. I am conflicted on how to feel about this new independence. There are some patients that I know exactly what I am doing and why I am doing it, and then there are some patients that ask a lot of questions that I cannot necessarily answer or they have a complication that needs attention and I feel like I still need help.
Two nights ago, I experienced my first code-blue on the floor. My hands were shaking, my heart was beating about 140 beats/minute, and my fear was clouding my thoughts. I handled everything the best that I could. We called the code blue, got the crash cart, and starting working on the patient. This is a perfect example of a situation in which I am not ready to face on my own. The patient ended up not making it, and so we also had to console the spouse and make arrangements with the body. This was a new experience for me, and one I was not necessarily ready for.
On the other hand, I am looking forward to having the independence to take care of my patient when and how I want to (according to all ethical and legal rules). I have gone through 2 years of nursing school looking forward to this moment. I know nursing can be very tough and draining, and stressful, but there are also many rewarding experiences to being a nurse.
I have a long ways to go before I am a confident and competent nurse. However through time and experience I will become a great nurse, one shift at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment